Random Snapshots

Sitting on a long cement bench painted orangish pink, the hot, humid sun just beyond the shade of the covered walkway in front of the tienda. Me on one side, a middle-aged Mexican woman in the middle, and a friend of mine on the end. Somehow we manage to chat in Spanish for a good half hour. I'm realizing that I'm getting better at making jokes in Spanish, and spend a lot of time making fun of my friend, exaggerating the things she does, keeping an eye on the women to make sure they are both laughing. Mexican children coming nearer and putting on a show for us, carrying the smallest girl around and dropping her at our feet over and over again and watching her run away giggling.

~

Walking across the bridge on the west end of town, passing through a portal, same city, different world. Dark skin everywhere and flat, wide streets. Dropping into a store and no attempt even to slow down the Spanish exchange as if the shopkeeper has never come across gringos who stumble in their words. Walking many blocks, wondering when the road will end, and finally coming across the sleepy barely-used train station at the edge of town.

Exploring deeper along a dirt road that is arched by trees and skirts small ranches. An oasis of shade in the hot sun, feet kicking dirt on the road, damp air fresh in one's nostrils like a long breath of ecstasy. Pairs of Mexican women carrying pails between them. "Permiso por photo?" and a peal of laughter.

~

Sitting beside the maestra on a patio on the edge of a sunny garden at our class party, explaining what I've been doing since leaving class, and her breaking into uproarious laughter when I tell her I've been making up practice sentences like "El caminante esta caminando en el camino*." My friend David taking me on a tour of the house that is themed with stone and dark colonial furniture, smiling and saying "I was lucky". Showing me the garden and explaining how before long it will be a jungle of local plants that doesn't need extra water. A few stragglers drinking red wine in the dark, gringos who are now residents, laughing as we share an unspoken sensibility. David smiling and saying, I'll send you the photos I took on our trip.

~

Writing on the Matrix message board, arguing about the existence of a multiple observer effect. Having people who read the messages and who feel very stuck contact me asking for sessions. Being very low energy, calling my friend Niko in Vancouver, getting nicely charged up. Contacting Connie and telling her we had just two-pointed her and smiling as after a long delay she types, "I just fell off my chair and am grinning the Buddha grin." Channeling new information and doing good sessions with clients who hadn't had anyone able to help them before. A local client, who had not seemed to change much, stopping me and telling me that she no longer has a depression that she has had for many years and is going to contact her psychiatrist to ask him to reduce her medication.

Finding myself exploring the energy of regret, and with my new shamanic skills and vision feeling that something went deeply wrong very early in my life, not knowing what it was, not knowing how to fully release it. Feeling some entrenched dark energy periodically return from time to time. Wishing that I could step fully into the new space of bliss, totally release whatever was holding the darkness to me, and step out of it all into a new life. Feeling that if this is cleared I will also be able to help my clients better.

~

Meeting some friends in a local bar and greeting my library companion Felix, shaking his hand a moment longer as I realize that I now have Mexican friends. Listening to a loud jazz-funk band with a horn section jam out blues grooves. Wandering up the street to a dive and, while looking at one of Felix's paintings on the wall, being invited to join some people from Canada. One of them, a Vin Diesel lookalike, fluent in four languages, telling us that he had grown up as a diplomat's son and engaging us with stories of Czechoslovakia during Soviet rule, Germany during the takedown of the wall, and descriptions of the structure of the Japanese language while the empty Corona bottles begin to cover the table. Taking a deep breath and wondering at the bigness of it all and finding myself wishing I didn't have to go back to Canada.

~

Taking a stroll in the dark down to a taco stand where three dark-skinned men are chopping roast pork and beef, watching them gingerly spoon out steaming tacos covered with cilantro, remembering to cover them with lime juice, sitting at a folding table with a Mexican family and chatting in Spanish about why I like Mexico better than Canada and wish I could stay here longer. The demure mother lowering her head saying that she has no culture and her eyes lighting up when I tell her she has mucha cultura. The hermosa daughter in a colorful Spanish blouse smiling shyly and staring deeply and asking many questions about the discussion group in the library. Getting a whiff of summer in the air and being filled with bittersweet regret as I feel the end of my stay here moving closer.

* The walker is walking on the walkway.

Improvements

I was so pleased this week! Three people in the conversation group at the library said they had noticed a marked improvement in my Spanish in the time since I quit school. So it looks like I made the right choice! Of course clearing the things that were aggravating the dyslexia helped immensely too. Although it took a couple of weeks, I'm now starting to remember much of what I learned in class.

Yo soy un person quien necesitar un sistema para aprender algo nuevo. En clase, no tenemos un sistema utilizable. Es la consecuencia del libro que no es organizó bien. La primera cosa que realicé fue que era necesario para aprender todos los tiempos del verbos. Después desarrollé dos sistemas, uno que usó cuentos para aprender vocabulario y una que usó los posición del manos aprender todos los tiempos del verbos. Además, aprendí un sistema para organizar todos los palabras en grupos y un otro sistema para agrupar verbos, sustantivos, objetos, y adjetivos para aprender cuatro palabras por la precio de uno. Estudié mucho.

Of course I still have much to learn. I needed to use imtranslator.com to check my spelling on the above--if you don't speak Spanish you can just go there and copy and paste the above paragraph. I still have significant problems with my dyslexia, but what a difference! Spanish is starting to be fun again and at first I studied many hours a day because my system was so interesting. Maybe someday I'll write a book called "Learn Spanish Like a Kid".


Unfortunately my tutor didn't show up for our second meeting. I was concerned that the interference was starting again because a common pattern was for people to disappear from my life for no reason. But luckily when I went to do some shamanic work on my friend Wendy she was finishing up with a tutor just as I arrived. Since Wendy was leaving in a week, I made arrangements to use the same tutor when she left for a very inexpensive price. I did miss my first tutor though as she was very good. I wondered what happened to her as she hasn't shown up at any library conversations either. I thought I may have done something wrong because she was quite touchy feely with me and had invited me to go play basketball afterwards. Maybe I should have given her a kiss to make sure she showed up again? Connie help me here. I don't pretend to understand women in general, but Mexican women are even more of a mystery.

The shamanic work with Wendy went so well that she recommended me to a friend. I said that I was only giving freebies to the healing group and that her friend would have to pay but that was no problem. Her friend had a lot of faith in me, saying "I just know you can help me." She was right and we had a fantastic session. We cleared many soul problems and some physical problems and she looked very different when we were done. She was so happy she gave me a beautiful painting.

A week ago I went back to the state capitol with my friend David who I knew from the class in university. He has a car so we drove this time. Luckily he also has excellent navigation karma and we found the correct exit from the tunnels and a place to park with no problem whatsoever (it was a little like traveling with Jeff). We spent a great day in the city, and it was even better than the one I'd spent with Cesar on the tour. We went into the classic theatre, explored the university, returned to the Diego Rivera museum, had a great lunch on a large quiet square surrounded by restaurants, and explored the old market that was built in a train station that was never used. But one of my favorite times was when we were in an art gallery and I went over to the supervisor to chat about the meaning of a shoe sculpture. David was impressed with my Spanish but I said I still need to direct the conversations and interrupt with a statement of my own when the other person becomes unintelligible. It was an interesting story behind the shoe exhibit though: the shoes were all found on the subway in Mexico City and were intended to be a snapshot of the type of people who rode the subway. Overall we were thrilled with the trip and David thanked me for suggesting it. Unfortunately I forgot my camera that day.

The next day I met up with Cesar's group to tour the capitol of the neighbouring state. (I'd actually gone back during the week to hear Cesar's history lecture again and take notes). It was a smaller group this time and this city was more low-key. In fact it reminded me of some of the American small cities that Jeff and Dan and I used to drive through. The only problem was that some of the locals spoke to us or shouted at us as if they were making fun of us. (The one that bothered me was when they said "how do you do" in an exaggerated American accent so I answered them in Spanish). But we still had an excellent time, and when we were sipping tequila on the drive home there was a big hail storm that lasted so long it looked like there was snow on the ground. Canadians will say "you call that snow?" but in Mexico it's very unusual. Someone kidded Cesar that he had arranged the storm to end the tour with a bang.

A beautiful plaza.	A colonial monastery.
Sculptures in a local museum.	The colonial architecture in the museum, taken from a beautiful plaza with a fountain.
This looks like an American-style street to me.	Hailstorm on the bus!

Field Trip

The provincial capital is one of the most spectacular cities that I've ever seen. With a population of 140,000, it's located in a canyon with most of the city climbing the sides of the canyon. Because of this, there are only three streets and the city is served by a network of 3115 alleys where cars cannot go. But there is an amazing network of underground tunnels, built in the 16th century, where cars and buses travel. These tunnels were originally the path for an underground river but the Spanish dammed the river and reinforced the tunnels with bricks to use for transport. The city was very important for the Spanish because of the silver mines and even today it still supplies 30% of the world's silver.

As you can tell, we had an excellent tour guide who gave us reams of information about the city. I came across him in a notice in the local paper which stated that he would give a lecture about the tour at a local university on Wednesday afternoon. A small group of us, mostly retired seniors, showed up and seated ourselves in a courtyard in front of a gigantic colorful mural that illustrated five hundred years of Mexican history. The first thing the tour guide said was, "My name is Cesar, like the esalad, and I am going to explain to you in one hour over four thousand years of the historia of Mexico."

And he did. The lecture was fantastic, beginning with the four main ancient native tribes. Cesar was a great story teller. My favorite story was about why Mexico City is located where it is. Legend has it that there were tribes in the north who lived in a perfect region but who made their gods unhappy by their behaviour and by not appreciating the garden of Eden that they had. So the tribes were expelled from the garden. But one god still liked them and told them, when you see my symbol, an eagle and a snake (and something else) all in one place, you will have found your new home. So the tribe went south for many years until they found a mountainous area with a lake and an island in the middle. On the island were the three symbols they were looking for. So they founded a city there and used logs and stones to extend it out from the island. When the Spanish came in 1541 they called it the most beautiful city they had ever seen. It had streets and markets and huge buildings all built on the lake. It took the Spanish three years to conquer the Aztecs, after which they made slaves of the natives and made them dismantle their pyramids and use the same stones from the pyramids to build the colonial buildings in Mexico City.

The next Saturday, we started our tour of the capitol city from the top of the canyon and gradually made our way down through the alleyways to the main square. Cesar told us that all deliveries were made by hand and that people on top of the hill had to give special perks to the delivery people to get their gas and water. There was even a movie made about a delivery man who was in love with a woman at the top of the hill that he delivered to.

At the bottom of the hill we went into the Don Quixote museum which was full of paintings and art of Don Quixote, who had been chosen by the university students as the town patron. After that we went to the main town square which was dominated by a huge teatro and full of European-style cafes. We were given time to explore a bit then had lunch in a fancy restaurant.

After lunch we went to the museum which was located in the house where Diego Rivera used to live. The first floor was mostly preserved furniture arrangements. The second floor was an outstanding collection of paintings and sketches. On the third floor there was a small movie theatre with a huge mural on one side and large framed photos of Diego and Frida on the other three walls.

We toured some more of the city before leaving and had tequila on the bus on the way home. It was an outstanding day and I decided to take Cesar's next tour the next weekend.

A street near the town square. You can tell that it's a university city.	The main university. In the fall the hazing ritual is to make the freshmen run up and down the steps once for every semester of their program. If they fail then their heads are shaved.
A restaurant on a bridge!	The city viewed from funicular we took to get back up the hill.

Clearing

Waking up early on the last day of March I again wondered: what if the learning disabilities were intentionally being aggravated somehow? Almost too strange an idea to consider, but over the years I've learned that there is often more to the universe than we know. So I started scanning and almost immediately found something: information jamming structures that were similar to black magic but which came from a different realm.

Speaking as a shaman, I always easy to clear something once you find its true nature. The key is to find the correct things because they are so well hidden. Their secrecy creates their power. Once they are discovered they have no power whatsoever. If evil ever shows itself too easily you know you may need to look deeper because could be only seeing the surface and there could be something hidden behind it.

There was also someone using black magic on me for a cowardly personal reason. How pathetic. I felt much lighter after this work and found myself thinking more clearly.


In class, it was significantly easier to understand the maestra this time and I found I was able to pick up most of what she said. It was a great class. Before class though, a number of us had been discussing whether to stay or quit as today was the day to pay the tuition for the next month. It was a difficult choice for me and came down to the fact that I hadn't been learning well. I knew from experience that I could wake up the next day with the learning disabilities as bad as before if not worse. So even though today had been excellent, I thought I might be able to make better use of my time and decided to quit.

A few of us went to coffee afterwards and then to lunch on a beautiful balcony. We talked a lot about the class and my classmates said they decided to stay simply because they loved the maestra, even though a couple of them remarked that they felt they hadn't learned much either. Of course they weren't doing the extra studying that I was doing. I told them about the software programs that were available and about the discussion group at the library.

When I got home and checked my email, I had a wonderful message from a woman who had given me her card at the healing group the week before.

HI Mark

I couldn't wait until Thursday to tell you that I saw the lady you treated on Thursday. She was waiting for the next yoga class today and I was blown away by her transformation. I sat down and talked to her so was able to observe her closely. She was sitting straight with both shoulders even. Her face was totally balanced and her eyes were clear and bright and she wasn't shaking!!! She looked beautiful not ill and 10 years younger and I told her so. I got shivers just looking at her as i know I have been witness to a miracle.

This really lifted my spirits and I knew things were beginning to break.

I'd been wanting to contact Alicia and talk to her about the dark thing that I'd felt loosen up inside me after doing the reconnective healing work. It's funny how things happen sometimes. The next day I decided to simply carry my bags to my new apartment since it was only a few blocks away. So I started walking with my first load and a few blocks later someone called out to me from up the street. It was Alicia, wearing a large straw sombrero and waving. We began walking together and she said how impressed she was with the work I had done and that she wanted me to do some work on her! I told her about what happened to me after the second session and that I wanted her help so we agreed to contact each other later and trade sessions. This was a special honor for me because Alicia's family have been shamans for generations and she has spent much of her life studying shamanism. For her to consider me at her level was a welcome validation.

Alicia asked where I was going and offered to share a cab as she was heading home. We discussed what had happened in the second session in the healing group. I said that the issue that had shown up had appeared for a reason and would start showing up more in our healing sessions now. There was something very important happening with ancient energies that have been with us for aeons. Alicia agreed and we both felt we wanted to learn more about this. When we arrived at my new place, I told her that she had shown up at the perfect time.

My new apartment was quite large and in some ways very nice. Here are some pictures.

At first though didn't feel very comfortable there because it was indeed shady and it also still felt like someone else's place. So I found myself spending a lot more time out of the house walking around and working in the library. I began spending my evenings studying Spanish from different software programs that I had. I also went to Warren Hardy, the expensive prestigious Spanish school in town, and bought their Spanish KeyCards. I wanted to learn all the verb tenses as I felt very limited only knowing the present tense.

Things continued to go well for the rest of the week. The next day I did a healing session with Rachel from the healing group and our friend Wendy. I told Rachel I wanted to clear her elementals and with Wendy's help did a good hour of shamanic work with her. Wendy had to leave a little early so I finished the session on my own. (I got a report later that Rachel's friend had told her she looked totally different and she told me that she could see much better.)

But then Rachel wanted to work on me to return the favor. I was a bit worried as I didn't feel she was ready but channeled a technique for her to use on me and taught her how to do it. It only took a few minutes and I felt great afterwards. Also a big chunk of information flooded into me and I saw something very important that I'd never seen before. It was a big missing piece to the puzzle and a whole bunch of things started to make sense. (Later that night Stewart Swerdlow's newsletter came by email and had some important information on the same topic.)

After this I headed over to the library discussion group. Somehow I ended up at a table with two Spanish teachers. I told one of them about quitting university and he said that he was surprised the teacher only spoke Spanish as that makes it very difficult to learn. He says he speaks English except in his advanced classes. So it was encouraging to realize that I wasn't totally in left field.

Then at the end of the discussion a most interesting thing happened. A young woman came to our table and had a short discussion with those of us who were still there. At the end she asked me if I wanted to trade tutoring time with her as she wanted to learn more Spanish. I felt like I'd won the lottery. The next day we met in the library and worked on verbs for two hours. She was an excellent teacher and the time flew by. I felt that I hadn't taught her enough English but she wanted to meet the next week for another session. After she left another woman from the discussion table the day before came and joined me and we ended up going out for margaritas and having an excellent night together.

I'd also scheduled some travel time because I had some money from the refund of the deposit on Dave and Jo's apartment. So there is another story to tell and many pictures to show but that will be the topic of the next post and for that we'll be getting back to the normal stories. (Barney breathes a big sigh of relief, puts his margarita on the table, and begins to channel Neitschze.) But since this current story took up so many weeks of my time that I felt it was important to tell it.

However as much as I enjoyed the shift I knew from the patterns over the years it would not be long before the problems were reinstalled and the next attack came. All I could do was resort to my normal defensive measures and wait a bit before channeling any more information on physics. In the meantime, I had a field trip to enjoy.

Still Stuck

Standing in front of Anita who was seated on the massage table, with Larry seated cross-legged behind her and the group surrounding us, I began to scan for the source of her problems. As usual I had one hand on her left shoulder to create an information connection, but I felt like mud and it was hard to see anything psychically. However I trusted that information would somehow come through.

I continued to tell the group what I was doing and to explain some background. Since I was so muddy I tried to remember things that I'd done on other people and chose the techniques that seemed appropriate. The session went on for a long time. I invited people to come closer and join in the session by adding Reiki or other healing energy or by telling the group any impressions they got. Many did so and made insightful comments. Eventually I could see a little better and did a lot of work on Anita's soul group and her relationship with them. Also she was embodying the consequences of the split in the male/female universal energies and actually had an energetic split in her body, with her left shoulder and hip being much higher than her right, so I did a lot of work with that. Her soul was stuck on the left side of her body so I did a fair amount of weaving and reorganizing to help with this. I also gave her inverse frequencies for the shaking symptoms which were from medication. The whole session seemed to take more than an hour.

When we were done she sat beside me and the group discussed the session. Anita's energy looked brighter and her face looked younger but I was concerned that she was still shaking and that she wasn't as straight as I would have liked. Also the group didn't seem very impressed with the work I'd done. So for the next client I just stood in the back and held the energy and let the group work. However reconnective energy started flowing through my hands very strongly so the first chance I had I stood below the woman's feet as she lay on the massage table and sent reconnective energy up through her lower chakras and up her body. She began to complain that her stomach felt very cold and I said that there is a powerful healing energy that feels cold.

I continued to move around her body giving her reconnective energy as others continued to work as well. At the end only Alicia and I were working with her. I moved away to let Alicia work but the woman took my hand and pulled me back. She was gasping and crying and releasing something very deep. I did some advanced shamanic work to release the structures that were keeping the thing that she needed to release stuck in place.

A number of people had left by this time and Alicia had to run off so I got a couple of cards and went to lunch with a couple of women as I was starving. One of the women wanted to meet up the next week and I said okay. Overall though I hadn't felt as successful with the group as I usually feel. But I was impressed with the group and felt privileged to work with them.

Doing the work on the second woman had loosened something in me that felt very dark. I continued to work with it over the next few days but none of my normal techniques helped that much.


Even though my landlords had left for Canada, my neighbours John and Hilary had a key to their place. So one afternoon John and I went in and spent about an hour and a half fiddling with the wires and the settings on the router trying to get it to work. The internet worked when we unplugged the router but didn't work when we plugged it back in. Surprisingly our phones worked. It was as if the cable company had set their web server to refuse us access or the router had been hacked in some way (if it had been physically damaged the phones wouldn't work). I set up John's computer to access the internet using a proxy server and we put everything back the way it was.

Trucks continued to pull up beside my patio from time to time and play loud music.

It was also approaching the end of the month and I was scheduled to leave in a few days. My new landlady gave me a call and we made some arrangements. She was worried that there wouldn't be enough sun, since shortly after I had booked the apartment with her the neighbours began building an extension to their house that blocked out all the sunlight. So even though I had a nice patio it would always be in the shade and the apartment would be dark. I was a bit worried about moving now and wondered what it would be like.

I needed to find a replacement coffee-maker for the one I broke, so I spent half a day looking for one and could only find two which were overpriced. That day was also one of those days when people always seemed to be getting in my way. Whenever I got to a corner people and cars would swarm around me. Sometimes it got so bad that it actually worked out well because cars would turn to cut me off and stop traffic so everything would come to a standstill and I could just walk through. But of course it took a long time to get anything done that day.

Also with the new academic month approaching, I began to think seriously about quitting my Spanish class at the university. As wonderful as the instructor was, I couldn't understand much of what she said in class and felt embarrassed that after two months I knew so little Spanish. A big part of it was the awful state of my dyslexia that kept me from remembering anything. But it also reminded me of my own experiences teaching high school: you can be as good a teacher as you can be, but in the end the learning of the students is largely determined by the content and structure of the course itself. I wasn't sure whether there was any point in continuing to attend class in the state I was in.

I continued to do meditations and shamanic work in the mornings hoping to find a key to shift all this. But everything still seemed very stuck. It had been weeks now since the attack began the day after my physics channel and I was starting to wonder when all this was ever going to change. I needed a breakthrough of some sort. Little did I know that something important would happen later that week.


To be continued...

Psychic Attacks

After the excellent week working with clients and channeling physics, I woke up the following morning and could barely function. My dyslexia was so bad that I reversed the on and off function on the coffee maker and ended up breaking the overheated carafe that cost a fair amount of money to replace. I started to experience strange body movements and and jerks that were beyond my control. At one point I stubbed my toe so badly that it took two weeks before the pain was gone. That had never happened before. I could barely read or even think clearly. It was hard even to talk and form sentences. Needless to say all the physics information that had come through was now mentally inaccessible.

This began on the Saturday of Easter week. Luckily we were on our university break that week otherwise I would have had to miss a week of class. Unfortunately I had to miss many of the town celebrations because there were days when I could barely move and all I could do was lie in bed and listen to internet radio. I was unable to do most of the Spanish review work that I'd planned to do. On the spring equinox I had wanted to attend a drum concert at the Botanical Garden but ended up being confined to bed all day again.

The next day, with a headache and a very sore stomach, I very much wanted to go to a procession in a nearby town. I wanted to have an extra cup of coffee but the event was quite early so I left my apartment walking slowly. Luckily the bakery was open and I was able to buy a huge apple empanada. The sun was out and the wind had died down as I began the long walk to a nearby village.

The newspaper article that had described the procession wasn't too clear about where it was but luckily in a small town it's easy to find the main church. There were a number of people milling around in the intersection out front who looked like they were waiting for something to start. I bought some water and sat down as I was too weak to stand. Then without any fanfare the event started. Actors dressed in red and white came down a street and climbed the church steps and began to reenact the trial of Jesus.

The actors did not appear to be professionals as they made a few mistakes such as standing in the wrong places and blocking the view of another character. But what they lacked in technique they made up in passion and authenticity and they were very natural in their roles. In the midst of the large crowd in this small village of poor Mexicans, it was easy to feel like we were back witnessing the original events two thousand years ago. Happenings that had been abstract to me when I first learned the stories as a child began to take on flesh and blood and I began to see the whole story differently.

After the trial was over the actors began the procession. The crowds were huge and at first I was so far away from the actors that it just seemed like we were simply in a large throng of people squeezing into a tiny road. Then I followed some locals down a side street and ended up right in the middle of the main events. Roman soldiers on horses were keeping order in the crowd and three men with crosses, surrounded by guards and desolate women in shawls, made their way slowly up the dirt road.

The procession was so captivating that we must have been going for over an hour before I realized that I was getting weaker and that it was time to head home. I spent the rest of the day in bed but it had been worth every moment.

I didn't get much better over the weekend though and barely made it through class the entire next week. To make matters worse I'd forgotten what little Spanish I did know. The professor noticed and barely called on me and whenever I read a sentence in class she asked another person to give the same answer again. But people in the class were still friendly and my friend David took me to lunch one day which lifted my spirits.

My landlords Dave and Jo were getting ready to leave for Canada and had a wonderful party with fantastic empanadas but this time most of their friends had no interest in talking to me. Dave and Jo left early the next morning and we wished each other well. But within hours after they left the internet went out. Of course it's hard enough to call tech support and spend an hour on the phone talking in English but in Spanish it was out of the question. I never did get the internet back and was only able to get a form of access a few days later by using the same hacking technique that I used to get access to "Celebrity Apprentice" on NBC. My Mac computer was also developing unusual malfunctions. One afternoon I even tried to study Spanish on the balcony and within minutes a truck pulled up underneath me and began blasting music so loud that I had to quit and leave the house. Even though this had never happened before, it continued to happen over the next few days with unusual frequency and timing. As I wrote to someone later in the week, it was total information jamming.

The newspaper had described a healing group meeting at noon the next day that I wanted to go to. I'd talked to the organizer on the phone and she'd sounded very interesting. But I was wondering if I'd be in any shape to actively participate in the group and whether I'd actually have to take the role of a client and ask people to work on me. Luckily I had an excellent conversation with Alan on Wednesday night that seemed to shift or loosen something. Then when I woke up Thursday morning I was given a shamanic key to clear some of the problem that was blocking me. It was very high level interference. But then I mixed up the time and ended up going to class an hour early. This turned out to be quite helpful as I was able to go and sit in the sun and do more clearing on myself. After class I had another large orange juice and made my way to the healing group. With my dyslexia so bad I'd been extra careful about directions and managed to find the house without any trouble.

The house was on a side street and had beautiful trees growing outside. The door was open and walked into a big rectangular garden surrounded by buildings that were so nice I felt like I was in a hotel. The meeting room was directly to the right, where Alicia the host got me a chair. There were about twenty people there, all older, most of whom had studied Reiki, healing touch, shamanism, or other healing arts. They had already started and people were giving their background one at a time. When it was my turn I surprised myself by telling my story in the most coherent way that I've ever told it. People were most interested in my experience working with the Matrix groups in Vancouver and it seemed like their group was similar in many ways.

Then Alicia said she'd like to learn more about Matrix and asked me to do a demonstration. Normally I would have been enthusiastic about an opportunity like this but my mind was still very muddy and I wasn't sure how I would manage. There was a woman in her seventies who was shaking and looked very weak and said she wanted healing. So I asked her to sit on the edge of the massage table that was in the center of the group and stood in front of her and asked people to move around where they could see. Alicia's husband Larry sat behind the woman with his legs crossed and palms upward holding energetic space.

I started to explain a little bit about Matrix and then said, "The thing about Matrix is we normally don't know what is going to happen even when we start a session. We simply listen and watch carefully and see what shows up." At no time was this more true for me than today. Usually I rely heavily on my channeling abilities and can pretty much see ahead of time how things are going to proceed. Today that ability was barely functioning and I had no idea what was going to happen.


To be continued...