Still Stuck

Standing in front of Anita who was seated on the massage table, with Larry seated cross-legged behind her and the group surrounding us, I began to scan for the source of her problems. As usual I had one hand on her left shoulder to create an information connection, but I felt like mud and it was hard to see anything psychically. However I trusted that information would somehow come through.

I continued to tell the group what I was doing and to explain some background. Since I was so muddy I tried to remember things that I'd done on other people and chose the techniques that seemed appropriate. The session went on for a long time. I invited people to come closer and join in the session by adding Reiki or other healing energy or by telling the group any impressions they got. Many did so and made insightful comments. Eventually I could see a little better and did a lot of work on Anita's soul group and her relationship with them. Also she was embodying the consequences of the split in the male/female universal energies and actually had an energetic split in her body, with her left shoulder and hip being much higher than her right, so I did a lot of work with that. Her soul was stuck on the left side of her body so I did a fair amount of weaving and reorganizing to help with this. I also gave her inverse frequencies for the shaking symptoms which were from medication. The whole session seemed to take more than an hour.

When we were done she sat beside me and the group discussed the session. Anita's energy looked brighter and her face looked younger but I was concerned that she was still shaking and that she wasn't as straight as I would have liked. Also the group didn't seem very impressed with the work I'd done. So for the next client I just stood in the back and held the energy and let the group work. However reconnective energy started flowing through my hands very strongly so the first chance I had I stood below the woman's feet as she lay on the massage table and sent reconnective energy up through her lower chakras and up her body. She began to complain that her stomach felt very cold and I said that there is a powerful healing energy that feels cold.

I continued to move around her body giving her reconnective energy as others continued to work as well. At the end only Alicia and I were working with her. I moved away to let Alicia work but the woman took my hand and pulled me back. She was gasping and crying and releasing something very deep. I did some advanced shamanic work to release the structures that were keeping the thing that she needed to release stuck in place.

A number of people had left by this time and Alicia had to run off so I got a couple of cards and went to lunch with a couple of women as I was starving. One of the women wanted to meet up the next week and I said okay. Overall though I hadn't felt as successful with the group as I usually feel. But I was impressed with the group and felt privileged to work with them.

Doing the work on the second woman had loosened something in me that felt very dark. I continued to work with it over the next few days but none of my normal techniques helped that much.


Even though my landlords had left for Canada, my neighbours John and Hilary had a key to their place. So one afternoon John and I went in and spent about an hour and a half fiddling with the wires and the settings on the router trying to get it to work. The internet worked when we unplugged the router but didn't work when we plugged it back in. Surprisingly our phones worked. It was as if the cable company had set their web server to refuse us access or the router had been hacked in some way (if it had been physically damaged the phones wouldn't work). I set up John's computer to access the internet using a proxy server and we put everything back the way it was.

Trucks continued to pull up beside my patio from time to time and play loud music.

It was also approaching the end of the month and I was scheduled to leave in a few days. My new landlady gave me a call and we made some arrangements. She was worried that there wouldn't be enough sun, since shortly after I had booked the apartment with her the neighbours began building an extension to their house that blocked out all the sunlight. So even though I had a nice patio it would always be in the shade and the apartment would be dark. I was a bit worried about moving now and wondered what it would be like.

I needed to find a replacement coffee-maker for the one I broke, so I spent half a day looking for one and could only find two which were overpriced. That day was also one of those days when people always seemed to be getting in my way. Whenever I got to a corner people and cars would swarm around me. Sometimes it got so bad that it actually worked out well because cars would turn to cut me off and stop traffic so everything would come to a standstill and I could just walk through. But of course it took a long time to get anything done that day.

Also with the new academic month approaching, I began to think seriously about quitting my Spanish class at the university. As wonderful as the instructor was, I couldn't understand much of what she said in class and felt embarrassed that after two months I knew so little Spanish. A big part of it was the awful state of my dyslexia that kept me from remembering anything. But it also reminded me of my own experiences teaching high school: you can be as good a teacher as you can be, but in the end the learning of the students is largely determined by the content and structure of the course itself. I wasn't sure whether there was any point in continuing to attend class in the state I was in.

I continued to do meditations and shamanic work in the mornings hoping to find a key to shift all this. But everything still seemed very stuck. It had been weeks now since the attack began the day after my physics channel and I was starting to wonder when all this was ever going to change. I needed a breakthrough of some sort. Little did I know that something important would happen later that week.


To be continued...